The week in review

What a busy week! I am a few hours from finishing the grant I was ranting about a week ago. I could be finished already, but I'm waiting for input from one last person. That's okay though - it gives me a chance to be momentarily recreational.

HB's little sister (LH) had a baby. This is the most perfect baby I have ever seen. He arrived just when LH and I predicted - she thought he would come on the full moon, and I said the Ides of March. Only I hoped he wouldn't come then, even though I predicted it. Well, LH went into labor on the Ides of March, but baby waited until the next day. HB and I visited briefly with the whole fam when Baby was two days old. I held him for a very long time. No one was the least bit surprised that I hogged Baby.

Back to the Ides of March. Quick lesson on the Shakespeare reference. "Beware the Ides of March" - it's a quote from Julius Caesar. A soothsayer (olden days psychic) warns Caesar to beware the Ides of March. (Ides means middle - so March 15.) Of course, Caesar ignores her, and then he gets lynched. Therefore, all who know Shakespeare have always been a little suspiscious of March 15 - kind of the Friday the 13th for drama queens. I was especially aware of it this year 'cause I was waiting for baby to come. And of course, when you are aware of something, especially something you consider a little foreboding, crappy stuff will happen.

Superstition in effect: I lost my wallet. Now, I spent most of the evening retracing my steps everywhere I could have possibly been since I had last seen the wallet, but it was definitely gone. I know how anal I am, and I know that the only solution is that my wallet was stolen, but I feel so stupid about it (and no charges were made on my bank card before I reported it), that I can really only say that I lost my wallet. Why the diferentiation matters is beyond me. But for some reason it irks me. The good news is, I'm always broke and therefore there was no cash in it. The only things I need to replace are my driver's license (for which I'd already received a renewal notice in the mail) and the bank card. Of course, I was so proud of myself for saving that Target receipt so I could return that stuff...now I guess I'm in for Customer Service Desk Hell. But it serves me right for waiting for something bad to happen on the Ides of March. That wasn't all - the whole day was pretty nasty - but I've tried to block most of it out by now.

The weekend, however, was fantastic. We threw an amazing St. Patty's Day party. I forced Art to come, seeing as she rarely gets to have a night off and let loose. It was a blast. I love to entertain, but HB and I differ greatly on our party views. He thinks it's not a success unless he can count at least 50 people. I'm more quality over quantity. I think it's successful if I get to visit with friends and maybe get to know a new person or two. I almost prefer a smaller gathering because it's less stressful. This was definitely not a small gathering, but both HB and I were very pleased with the outcome.

So, to repeat the opening line, what a week! Here's to hoping for an uneventful week to come.

Funny

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

Interesting...I'm not an only child, but I've been told that by psychology standards, I'm so much younger than my siblings that I could carry the characteristics of one. But I think I act more like a youngest child....

work, SAHMs, craftiness

Once again, I should be working and not blogging, but oh well. I feel as though I have been working constantly lately. But that's what I get for taking on so many projects at once. I counted yesterday - I have fours different paid projects between costumes and grants, one non-paid film thing, and one volunteer grant thing. The volunteer thing is not very time-comsuming, but still, that's SIX projects that I'm working on! No wonder I'm so tired.
I just read f.w.'s blog about being a Stay At Home Mom, as well as all the comments on it. It basically boils down to what f.w. said - everyone has their own opinions about it, and different decisions are right for different people. I never thought I would want to be a SAHM - I've always loved working, and I've always counted on doing them both. But lately, with all the work I'm doing, I know that this job(s) would not be fair to continue with kids - it wouldn't be fair to anyone involved. I'm not saying I won't work, but I will seriously consider the circumstances before jumping into Mommy-hood. I really like the idea of part-time work. If the development work goes well, I can survive off that, and much of it can be done from home. That may be the ideal situation. Of course, I have a few years to decide still....
There's a woman who works as the business manager for the big theatre company I work for, and she just came back from maternity leave. She has a beautiful 4-month old baby girl - her first. She's kind of a workaholic. But she arranged with the theatre to work three days a week from home. She conducts most of her job from her computer and phone, and that works out fine at home. Now how cool is that? One good thing about working with a lot of struggling artists is they all understand how hard it is, and they're all pretty flexible about things.
As much as I'm complaining about working so much, it really is kind of nice. There really seems to be an ebb and flow when you free lance - there's either a ton of work at once or no work at all. Of course, I complain in both instances. But I really do enjoy lots of work - it keeps me on my toes, and it never gets boring. And there's always Crafty Night to keep me mildly sane. I'm glad that my Crafty Group meets weekly now, because otherwise I might go crazy from constant work. But I make myself take a break every Monday night to go get crafty with the girls (and the occassional guy). It's a real treasure, that Crafty Night. Right now I'm working on really simple projects - knit potholders are easy and very durable, and I happen to have a lot of friends who need some right now - but when I do something cool again, I'll post a pic of it.
And I promise to start writing about something more interesting than work....

All you never really wanted to know about my jobs

This is ridiculous. I am a horrible procrastinator. I should absolutely be working on a grant proposal, but instead, I'm writing a blog. The grant is due in eleven days, and I still have lots to go on it, but I'm playing on the computer instead. Well, perhaps this will let me get it out of my system so I can really start to concentrate.
I could blame FL Gal, one of my oldest friends, for calling me right when I was about to start working. Of course, I didn't have to answer the phone, but I did anyway. And through our conversation, I had to jump online and tell her all about job openings in Nashville. I've been trying for over a year to get the girl to move here, and she keeps acting interested; but so far I haven't been able to dangle the perfect job/guy/house in her face to get her here. Anyway, once again in my attempt to help her find a job (I try to explain that the other things will follow close behind) online, I find myself glued to the internet again. And now I'm here. And I'm not working on what I should be.
And why, one might ask, is a free lance costumer fretting over grant proposals? Even if one might not ask, one is about to get a very detailed answer. Sorry, it's all a part of the thought process which seems to be so key to these online journals.
You see, when I went to college, I studied what I wanted to. I got into theatre and costumes because I loved it, not because I actually expected to become a professional. When I was finishing my last semester, a friend from school who was working a lot in Nashville asked me if I wanted a job. I said yes, and he reccommended me for it. I got the job. And thus, I worked my first professional show. They liked me, so they offered me another show. One of the actors from that show asked me to work a show for another company. Basically, when people saw me, they offered me jobs. It's not that I'm that good. In this industry, it's all about connections, and I made some early on. In a town that's got a small theatre community, connections are even more important. And I'm a people person, so it's easy for me to stay in pretty good standing around here.
I know, I know, I still haven't answered the question about the grants, but I'm getting to it. In a small theatre community such as this one, there isn't a lot of money to be thrown around. This is a problem because it takes money to keep the industry going, and it takes more money to make it grow. Our community has a lot of potential to become a cultural hub - we have so many good artists and great potential audiences - but the money is thinning out. The state's budget is rocky to say the least. Free lance work is a real pain. You spend more time trying to secure the next job than you actually spend working. It's exhausting. You only do it for a love of the art.
Here's where the conundrum (sp?) starts. I love what I do. I'm passionate about it. But it really only serves me. Yes, I help performers by enhancing their appearance and character, and yes, a good review for me reflects well on all I work for and with. But I know that I really only do it because I love it and that is very self-serving. I'm not against this idea, but it does start to wear thin on me. I've always thought that some day when I have lots of money, I'll give it to great causes, and I will have more time to volunteer, and that will be my way of giving back. But if I keep working just to please me, I won't ever make enough money or have enough time for that.
So then I had to think about what I could do about it now. Well, obviously, I'm frustrated with the severe lack of funding for the arts in our area. It directly affects the quality of life for many friends I have who work in the arts community, and it stifles our community's ability to thrive. So I decided to become one of those people who raise funds for the arts. I did some research and discovered that the field is called Development, which involves locating funding sources through everything from foundation and federal grants to contributions to planned giving to actual fundraising events (i.e. parties!). But the things that every company wants you to have experience in is grant writing. So I'm taking some classes at a place that specializes in Non-Profit work, and some of my friends (who of course met me as a costumer) are giving me a chance to write some grants for them. If all goes well, I may gain enough experience to land a full time job doing this. Of course, in the meantime, costuming pays the bills. (That is something I never thought I'd find myself saying.) And in my heart I will always be a costumer, but hopefully I'll raise enough money to keep food on my fellow costumers' plates.
And, having flushed all of that out of my system, I now realize how important it is for me to start working on this thing. So that's it for now.

Tag...

Okay, I'm doing this simply because farm wife tagged me. I'm so good at spilling my guts, that I don't need these things - anyone who reads my blog for very long will figure this all out.

4 Jobs I've Had
(in no particular order)

1. Freelance costumer - I'm actually using the college degree I earned.

2. Barista - coffee slinger/shop manager at countless coffee shops

3. bookstore clerk - dangerous way to kill your paycheck

4. video store clerk

4 Goals I've Set for this Year

1. Find a job that doesn't include the word "freelance"

2. Fit back into my favorite black pants - which is about 10 pounds away

3. Emotionally support HB through his first year of law school (we're 2/3 of the way there!)

4. Figure out a new living situation, which may involve buying a house.

4 Movies I Could Watch Over and Over Again
1. Amelie

2. Princess Bride

3. Pirates of the Carribean

4. Strictly Ballroom

I could keep going on this one.....

4 Places I've Lived

I'm not too paranoid to list specifics, but I liked farm wife's descriptions of the houses, so I'm going to list the names my roomies and I had for our habitats:

1. The Hobbit House

2. The Cave

3. The Happy Hippie Hut

4. the smallest, strangest apartment in Belmont

4 TV Shows I Love to Watch

1. Project Runway

2. Project Runway reruns

3. Grey's Anatomy

4. Desperate Housewives

4 Favorite Vacation Spots

1. Montreat, NC

2. Anchorage, AK

3. Scotland

4. anywhere new that's not too hot

4 Websites I Visit

1. All the links posted here

2. MySpace - I've tracked down a bunch of old college friends

3. numerous grant websites - the field of work I'm trying to get into

4. www.cnm.org - The Center for Nonprofit Management - also about the field of work I'm
trying to get into - where I'm taking classes and networking.
If half of my websites are work-related, does that make me a nerd?

4 Favorite Foods

1. dark chocolate

2. strawberries

3. sushi

4. curries - Thai, Indian, whatever

4 Places I'd Rather Be Right Now

1. In a coffee shop talking non-stop to Art and Farm Wife (yes, FW, I know I stole that from
you, but I feel the same way)

2. At Dark Horse, talking non-stop with WRae and Bria

3. on the farm with my Honey, his family, and no deadlines

4. Having breakfast in bed - I've never gotten that before...

I Tag You....

anyone who feels like doing this...

And I would like to state, for the record, that I made it through this whole thing before my morning coffee....

Hi Ho!

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know.You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems.Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green.Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

While I managed to take the test, I don't think I got the link right. So if you want to take it, I suggest picking up the link on farm wife's blog, which is on my list of links. By the way, is anyone surprised that I'm Kermit? Okay, I could see you thinking maybe Miss Piggy, but I'm not that dramatic (or athletic!).

Love and Basketball

I have about two hours to myself. After reading farmwife's and art's blogs, that seems trivial. But to me it's still important. Why the two lonesome hours? Because my mom bought tickets to the Vandy/UT men's basketball game. She bought them for Honey Bunny and me, but I mentioned that HB's dad would love to go see the game. Yes, I weasled out of the sporting event. Instead of going to the game with HB and my parents, I opted to sit at home and do laundry and blog. Laundry is far more appealing in my opinion. Every time HB mentions going to a game, be it football, basketball, or whatever, I scramble my brain to come up with some sort of feasible excuse not to go. Yes, I had to go to the baseball game with HB's family on his dad's birthday, but how do you get out of that? And yes, it was actually kind of fun. But overall, I just don't enjoy watching other people run around chasing balls and each other. I'm glad sports exist to motivate people into activity. In fact, I think more people should particitpate in team sports for exercise and learning team skills (not that I do it myself, mind you). But I just don't understand why everyone else wants to pay to watch it. Professional sports are beyond me.

Anyway, I should be thankful today for professional sports. I get to breathe for a minute. Not that HB is stifling at all. It's just that he and I both need to take a couple weekends to relax. We've been running ragged for months now, and it's hard for us to slow down. It's a lot harder for HB than me. We agreed to have a chill weekend, which in his head translates into planning fun activities with all of our friends for all but a few waking hours, during which he'll be studying like a madman. To me, a chill weekend means little to no plans with the flexibility of a little studying/work between naps and laundry and long walks. (Actually, I don't like naps, but I like to have the option and the time to take one if I wanted it.)

And now, of course, I have to interrupt my fun chill time to make it to the dry cleaners before they close. I have a few more errands to run as well, followed by a brief work meeting, then dinner with HB's parents (His mom is also in the Nashville area watching the new Dave Chapelle movie - how cool is that? She's in her fifties and is the first person I know to go see it!), followed by a show tonight at a coffee shop where HB's best friend is performing. What was that I was saying about a chill weekend? Oh yeah, two hours to myself. Make that one and a half.

Oh yeah, for those of you on the edge of your seats, I'm pretty sure HB really did take his mom to see the campus the other night. When they finally got back she said they were gone so long because she made him take her to Home Depot, which is just down the road. I can always catch HB in a lie, because he's not very good at lying, and he seemed to be telling the truth about where they went. I was so sure he was getting her opinion on a ring, but alas, he wasn't. Maybe they talked about it though...

I'll just have to hold my breath a little longer. Let's hope I don't pass out...

Something Rotten in the State of Denmark

Perhaps I am paranoid, but I think there's a small conspiracy going on. I got home early today - I had to leave work early for a meeting that was rather brief, so I came in about an hour early. As I pulled into the driveway which wraps behind our house, I almost hit HB's mom (Mama C) who was outside on her cell phone. Apparently, she was trying to reach HB. She said she was in town for the afternoon and just thought she'd stop by. When he didn't answer his phone, she decided to leave. As I was walking her out, HB came home. So then she decided to stay and visit for a minute. She quickly followed HB upstairs to his office while I was doing the typical just got home stuff (putting my things away and such). Then as I was going upstairs to chat with them, I heard them speaking very softly. This is the strange part - HB has a very loud voice. I mean loud. His speaking voice is much like listening to an actor doing projection vocal warm-ups in a very small room with live acoustics. I love him, but my Honey Bunny is LOUD. So to hear him (or rather, not really hear him) in almost whisper mode was a red flag. Mama C isn't loud, but she isn't all that quiet either. But in this instance, she seemed peculiarly quiet. Anyway, by the time I reached the top of the stairs, they were turning around to come downstairs and out the door. They said that while she was here HB was going to give Mama C a tour of the law school campus. The campus is very nice, but it's not that big and only five minutes away. They've been gone for quite a while now.

Really, the only truly suspicious part is the under-their-breath conversation that I didn't really hear. In retrospect, I guess it's not that weird. They could have just been talking quietly....about....I have no clue what they could have been talking about. But I'm sure I'm just paranoid. Actually, it's more likely that I'm anxious. Impatient. Holding high expectations.

The truth? Any time HB acts slightly out of character, I hope that it means he's planning to pop the big question. If I feel he's hiding something, I secretly hope it's a ring. No such luck so far. He has no trouble talking about the future - kids, married life, etc. But when I start to push him to decide when that future will begin, he gets all crazy on me. Yes, I know it's the typical bachelor syndrome. In fact, with him, it's even less bachelor nerves and more about having control. I know that he wants to plan everything and do it all right (in other words, his way). And I know that every time I bring it up it ruins it a little bit for him - I should just shut up and let him do it his way. But he's taking so durn long to do it!!!

You are right to think I'm obsessed. I know I am. The funny part is, I never really wanted marriage until HB. I wasn't totally opposed to the idea, but I just wasn't sure there was any man out there that I could stand to live with. In fact, right before HB came along, I had happily resigned myself to life-long singledom. So why the obsession now? Maybe I'm an all or nuthin' girl. Or maybe now that I've found him, I want everyone to know he's mine. Or maybe "because when you've figured out who you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of yor life to begin as soon as possible." For a movie quote (When Harry Met Sally), it feels pretty on target to me.